SLB has lost it...

I spent 2 days in anger and without realizing why. It dawned to me eventually, that is was Sanjay Leela Bhansaali and his puke ‘Saawariyaan’. I have to accept that I had sufficient warnings and yet I watched the movie! I want to rip my eyes out of my socket!
The movie was blue for most part and green for some scenes, and I am not even talking about emotions. I am completely tired of SLB thinking of sticking to a color for some artistic ‘knot’ in his head.
The story is set in ‘la-la-land’, which was like an ‘unholy bastard child’ of Venice and Srinagar, painted blue. There did exist a huge RK sign in la-la-land and a many ‘homage’ instances to the Kapoor families. All the characters needed urgent therapies. SLB created characters which all were less large than life and more out of their minds. The new lead pair probably had no idea to what SLB was doing to them in name of art, but in the name of innocence, he made both these young people act like total dimwits, nincompoopy and completely retarded. The notion of life being bitter-sweet is being demonstrated by the characters bursting into spontaneous crying and spontaneous laughing and spontaneous crying and spontaneous laughing and spontaneous crying…….all intertwined, left me in pain. And it was only 15 minutes into the film. So I stared into the screen contemplating, am I man enough to finish this movie? As all the great tolerance building movies like Shadyantra, Clerk, etc helped increase my capacity to handle pain, this would help too I thought…as it did…
Just when I thought things cannot get any worse….very naïve of me…’sallu-the-lallu’ makes an entry. My brother calls him ‘mono-syllable Khan’, cause he can’t deliver a line of dialogue. So Sallu-the-lallu had to be this mystical person, end up looking like ‘no-acting-clue-sallu’.
Apparently a lot of money was spent on the movie and not enough time on the thought process of whether to make this movie.
The music score is the saving grace only if you don’t watch the movie. If you watch the movie, you will not be able to enjoy the music at all, as it becomes a jarring experience, with flashes in your head of the numb nuts. In one of the songs, SLB tried to push the envelope to establish the lead as a sex symbol, and ended up looking like a cheap strip show…one of the reasons I wanted to poke my eyes out…
The movie is full of clichés. The good whore, the senile angel, compassionate aunt, mystical (in this case, clueless) stranger, dropped payal, etc etc and wasted money. It was an unmitigated disaster of a movie. SLB is off my list.